Start small. You don’t have to jump off the roof on the first go. Jump off the first step.
Earning the right to trust that you know how to adjust.
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
While there’s no universal formula to develop trust, here’s a simple methodology that can be useful: time × behavior = trust. Doing difficult things over a period of time will earn you the right to trust yourself. Do you trust yourself enough to explore and play in the areas of your life that challenge you? Do you trust that you can figure out whatever comes your way?
Trust is a foundational skill for you to be able to perform to your potential. Building trust enhances your ability to adjust and adapt in any environment. To build trust, run to the edges of your capacity (in any area of your life) so you can learn how to adjust to the unfolding and unpredictable challenges that come your way. This is a fundamental skill to becoming a high-performer.
People who do extraordinary things and live extraordinary lives, inherently understand the value of getting right to the edge, and holding on as long as they can. They retreat to higher grounds for recovery, rest, reprieve, and repair, so that they can wake the next day, and run to the edge again. This is how you can expand your capacity to trust yourself — through vulnerability training. Train your mental capacity by focusing deeply in progressively challenging environments. Over time, you essentially will earn the right to say, “I can do difficult things.”
Put yourself in an uncomfortable situation. This might be asking for a discount on your next coffee or striking up a conversation with a stranger. An uncomfortable situation is different for everyone. Practice adjusting. Try doing this for ten days in a row.
The training for building trust with others is to assume best intent. Try this in your next conversation with someone. Assume they have your best interest in mind.
Be consistent in your efforts. Be honest about your current inhibitions and actively work to push them.
When was the last time you actively sought out something that was challenging for you? What did you feel like before the event? What did you feel like after?
How well do you trust yourself?
What is getting in the way of your ability to trust yourself?